Clients going through a separation have a whole lot of questions about family law, and the legal system can seem to a be a bit of a mystery.
On the other hand, family law lawyers find some aspects of separations mysterious.
One common question we often want to ask clients is whether their former spouse changed.
On the other hand, family law lawyers find some aspects of separations mysterious.
One common question we often want to ask clients is whether their former spouse changed.
We spend a lot of our time listening to clients who are fed up and frustrated at how selfish/greedy/hot-tempered/vengeful/cheap/irresponsible/immature their ex is. But, this is a person the client deliberately chose to marry or live with, and with whom they have one or more children? Was the spouse selfish/greedy/hot-tempered/vengeful/cheap/irresponsible/immature when they met? When they got married? When they decided to have a family? Or did their negative qualities develop or become extreme over time?
The answer to the question is not really of any consequence, but it comes up when our clients are frustrated that the legal system can't make their ex a more reasonable person.
The answer to the question is not really of any consequence, but it comes up when our clients are frustrated that the legal system can't make their ex a more reasonable person.
A parenting court order can be very detailed but cannot stop petty game-playing. There is no court order that will make a spouse start to speak kindly or react calmly. There is no way to stop a parent from saying disparaging things about the other parent to the child, in spite of the harm. No one can make a parent accept a reasonable settlement or agree to settle a case in mediation. The parent has to change who they are as a person. Can we tell clients to hold out hope for that?
Do people change?
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