What I've Learned After 25 Years

 This month marks 25 years in family law for me. Here are ten things I've learned in all those years:

1. Kids grow up really quickly.
It seems like in the blink of an eye a custody case becomes a case involving university tuition. The time goes by unbelievably fast.

2. Stay on the high road.
For lawyers and clients, staying on the high road really is worth it. Judges have long memories, as do other lawyers. For clients, getting caught up in the heat of the battle can lead to poor decisions but well into the future, they will want to look back and be proud of their conduct.

3. Clients are the best part of the job.
What keeps this job interesting after 25 years is the opportunity to work with so many people. It's a privilege hearing their stories, all of which are unique. Seeing a client heal, evolve and embrace a new life is incredibly rewarding.

4. Not all clients are the same
You cannot have one style to use with every client. Some clients want all the information, some only want to know what they need to know. Some want to be very involved in their case, some do not and hope you can handle everything. Some will know the law and have great ideas for strategies. Some are struggling to function day to day. It's important to learn what each client needs.

5. Don't take anything personally
Clients have bad days. So do Judges. And opposing counsel. In family law emotions run high. Always own a mistake if you made one, but most of the time the negative emotions are not about you. Even when they are being expressed at you.

6. Settle out of court
It's easy to reject an imperfect settlement offer. But at the end of a years-long court battle with the incredible cost and stress, plus the fact that Judges don't always decide the way we hope they will, clients don't find peace and joy, even if they win. But they rarely feel regret when they settle out of court and are able to move on with their lives.

7. Own your mistakes and learn from them
Sadly, you can't learn to be a good lawyer without making mistakes. There will be a lot of them. But just make sure you don't make the same mistake twice.

8. Don't over promise
When you're trying to build a practice it can be tempting to make promises to clients about outcomes. Promise to do your best and provide good customer service but don't promise them a win in court or that you can make the other side agree to anything. There are no guarantees in litigation.

9. Take holidays
You absolutely cannot manage a busy, emotionally charged legal practice without taking time to rest and recharge.

10. Treat your assistant well
An assistant who knows the files and the clients really well, who keeps your practice organized and productive and who makes sure you don't miss deadlines is invaluable. Don't ever take your assistant for granted.



    

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